Baby Jesse
by iheartbooks2509
Summary: Suze is pregnant with Jesse's baby and everyone knows it but him. Will she be able to keep that secret for long? Rated T for language and minor sexual content. You know how Suze is.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: this must be really confusing, but the first time, I put in the wrong chapter and the second time there were so many mistakes I couldn't bring myself to leave it, but please enjoy it. The characters aren't mine.  
xXx Chapter 1

"Jesse!" I yelled, running up to him. We were at the airport and he was coming back from Latvia. Or Lithuania. He'd been traveling through Europe and I hadn't seen him for months. When he'd been brought back to life, we were together for a while, but we broke up. We were both at different stages in life and wanted different things. He wanted marriage and children, I just wanted to go to college without my virginity. Neither of us got what we wanted. Instead he decided to go on a trip with the money he'd saved from his job.  
He was supposed to be gone for a year, but I begged him to come back because I needed him. I'd missed him so much and whilst he was away...things had happened.  
Jesse stopped walking and looked around. Then he spotted me. He smiled and came running towards me, bags and all. Then he did that classic movie star thing of dropping his bags and enveloped me in a hug. Jesse had missed me too. Paul stepped out from behind me smiling. He and Jesse did that man-hug thing. None of us had really said a word to each other, but we walked off together anyway.  
xXx "So what was so important that I had to cut short my trip?" Jesse asked. We were back at the coffee clutch. Paul would've been here but he felt we needed the privacy. Though he didn't say as much, I knew. I looked into Jesse's dark eyes. He looked into mine. This was the conversation I'd put off for months now. When I realized I had to tell him, I has glad he'd gone back to Europe. Paul was the one who eventually persuaded me to call him. "I'm pregnant." There was no easy way to tell your ex that and sugar-coating it would've made things more awkward. Jesse was shocked. That's an understatement. He actually choked on his hot chocolate (Jesse doesn't drink coffee) until his eyes watered. "Really?" He asked, about an octave higher than usual.  
"Yeah."  
"Does everyone know? How far along are you? Whose baby is it? Does the father know? Would you like me to stay? Wh-"  
"Jesse!" I said before he could ask another question.  
"Sorry. One at a time. How many months?"  
"3 and a half." That was a lie. It had been 4.  
"Does everyone know?"  
"If by everyone you mean Mom, Andy, my step-brothers and my friends, then yes."  
"Does the father know?"  
"Yes. I told him quite recently." Recently being 2 minutes ago.  
"Who is the father?"  
"He's a friend of mine, who I had a relationship with." It's true, just vague.  
"You met him in college?"  
"...Yes." a more direct lie made me a little uncomfortable with Jesse. In case you didn't already guess, Jesse is the father. I just didn't want him to know so he didn't feel tied-down by me.  
"Does Paul know him?"  
"Yes, they're friends now."  
"That's good. A more important question though: is the father going to help you raise the child?"  
"I haven't asked him to. It's up to him. To be honest, I want him to carry on with his life."  
"And he's going to do that?"  
"I hope so." I smiled weakly. This feels wrong. Everyone knows Jesse is the father. Except Jesse. I knew that if he know the truth, he would never live his life normally.  
"Would you like me to stay and help?"  
"No. I want you to go back to Latvia-"  
"Lithuania."  
"Whatever- and continue as if I hadn't told you."  
"But you called me back, Susannah. You needed me so desperately that you asked me to return to you. I think I need to stay." Great. The opposite of what I wanted and he doesn't even know the kid's his.  
"I desperately needed to tell you. I wanted to do it face-to-face because it's you. You mean so much to me and I don't want to ruin your life."  
"You could never ruin my life."  
I sighed.  
"Now tell me who the father is so I can beat him up."  
I laughed at this. Jesse didn't see what was so funny, obviously. It was the irony. Jesse could hardly beat himself up.  
"It's okay, Paul already offered."  
"Oh has he?"  
"Yes. I turned him down, though. That's the last thing I need." "Did he offer to help you too?" I couldn't look him in the eye for some reason when I answered. "Yes."  
"Did you turn that down as well?" I started fidgeting, still unable to look at him.  
"No."  
"So you're letting Paul help, but not me?"  
"...Yes." Jesse just looked at me as if to ask the obvious.  
"It was a time when the father wasn't around. I was feeling sad and vulnerable..."  
"Tell me he didn't take advantage of you!"  
"No! He just offered to play daddy."  
"Play daddy?"  
"Be a surrogate father."  
"And you said yes?!"  
"...Yes. It was the time and the emotion..."  
"Susannah, I should be your surrogate father!" The irony on that one. He was the real father for crying out loud!  
"Jesse."  
"I'm hurt that you would pick him over me to be the father of your child!"  
"Well I didn't exactly do that, did I?!" I yelled. I immediately regretted it, as I had almost told him the truth.  
"What do you mean?" I knew that no matter how I answered the question, there would be problems. This would be where I should tell him that it's his child. Instead, I said, "You weren't there and he was. If I'd had a choice, I would've run to you."  
"you are running to me."  
"No, I'm just telling you so that you won't be surprised when you come back."  
"So are you saying I should've been there?"  
"I wouldn't be pregnant had you been there." Kinda true. The series of events that occurred, causing my pregnancy, technically would never have happened if he had never left. Jesse didn't reply. He looked at his hands as they fidgeted. He fiddled with the callous on the palm of his left hand.  
"I'm sorry, Jesse. I don't blame you for what happened."  
"Which part? Me leaving, us braking up or you getting pregnant?"  
"Look, the pregnancy was my thing," actually it was his, but now isn't the time for that, "you leaving wasn't a bad thing. It was what you wanted and we both needed the space. Us braking up was both of us. We were just too unwilling to compromise."  
"You were always so stubborn."  
"So were you." we both laughed.  
"Now I'm going to be stubborn. You should go back to Europe and carry on enjoying life. Paul bought you a ticket for a flight tomorrow evening."  
"I'm going to be stubborn too. I want to stay. At least a week or two to make sure you definitely don't need me."  
I sighed. We got up from the table, threw out our empty coffee cups and started walking to Mom and Andy's place.  
"Jesse."  
He stopped walking and stood opposite me. His new, shorter hair cut made his hair look slightly red as the afternoon sun reflected off of it. Thinking about it, Jesse might have dyed his hair.  
"Querida," a name he hadn't called me since the day we broke up. The memory of the huge argument and the dramatic storm out almost made me want to cry. "Just tell me that you want me to go, leave you alone with the baby and I will catch that flight tomorrow." He held my hands and looked deep into my eyes. I let go of his hands and put my hands on his broad shoulders, maintaining eye-contact, I said, "Jesse, I want you to go back to Latvia." Jesse looked disappointed for a moment, but it was quickly replaced by a stoic mask. "Lithuania. Besides, you don't mean that. I'll stay anyway." There was a glint of humour there, but I knew he meant it. I sighed, exasperated. I knew he was never going to leave once he knew.  
xXx A/N: Who should she end up with? Jesse or Paul. Review and let me know. I've got to tip the chapters in his favour. You don't have long because most is already written.  
Love ya,  
Iheartbooks 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Mom opened the door in a dressing gown with her hair wrapped up in a towel. "Susie, Jesse, I wasn't expecting you back."  
"Why not?" I asked, "I am staying here for my break."  
"I just thought you two wanted to...catch up," she replied, unable to look at the still fine specimen that is Jesse. He smiled because he understood what she was hinting.  
"No, Mrs. Ackerman, we didn't have much to catch up on. We stayed in touch when I was over there."  
"Oh, I see," she said, narrowing her eyes, "would you like to come in? I'll just pop upstairs to get dressed."  
The house was exactly the same. Not even the ornaments on the mantlepiece had moved. We sat down next to each other on the sofa.  
"So you're not going to tell me who the father is?"  
"You'll meet him."  
"When?"  
"After you finish your trip. You'll like him. You have a lot in common." If only this was a sitcom; the audience would be crying with laughter.  
"Will you at least tell me his name?"  
"Paul."  
"What?!"  
"No, Paul's standing behind you. What are you doing here?"  
"Andy wanted to give me some advice on being a father," Paul replied. Then he looked at Jesse as if to notice him there for the first time. "Oh shit!"  
"Jesse knows, Paul," I said.  
"You told him? I never actually thought you'd do it. After all, you were all so: "Jesse will give everything up for his-"" He started in a too high imitation of me.  
"Jesse doesn't know who the father is." I cut Paul off with a warning glance.  
"Oh," he said. Jesse eyed Paul suspiciously.  
"So you're not going to tell me either?" he asked.  
"Not if Suze doesn't want me to."  
Andy walked in behind us. "Jesse!" he exclaimed. We turned to face him and they did the man-hug. "I'm so happy for-" I know he was either cut off byte death glare I gave him or Paul jumping up and down behind us, but he quickly amended to say, "-to see you!" at the end.  
"It's good to see you again too," Jesse replied with a strange look on his face.  
"Jesse knows about the baby but not about the father," I explained.  
"Oh." Andy seemed disappointed. Keeping the secret was going to be harder than I thought. Every time someone accidentally said something, he'd get more and more suspicious. "Can you tell everyone that Jesse is not to know who the father is?" I asked.  
"Sure." Andy walked upstairs, presumably to find Mom.  
"Can you at least tell me his name?"  
"No."  
"Why not?"  
"I was hoping he'd live to a ripe old age."  
"How old is he?"  
"Just a little older than me."  
"Be more specific."  
"No!"  
xXx Mom and Andy were throwing a...gathering (a party that you don't call a party for fear the the person who it is for will get mad after she explicitly said no parties). Everyone who knew about the baby was here. Well everyone who happened to be in Carmel was anyway. I just hope that the news had spread about Jesse jot knowing just as fast. Paul, Jesse, me, Ceecee and Adam we stood around a table drinking alcohol-free punch. It was red and it tasted like strawberries. Paul and Jesse were stood either side of me and Paul had all too casually draped his arm around my shoulders. Ceecee had to take Adam's off hers to stop Jesse feeling like a gooseberry. I appreciated that.  
"This is nice punch," I said.  
"It was my idea not to put alcohol in it. It would be unfair if you couldn't drink at your own...gathering." I kissed him on the cheek. I appreciated that too.  
"Thanks, Paul. You're so thoughtful." Ugh, I sounded like a groupie, but it was true and I didn't know what else to say. He's done so much for me. The thought raised a lump in my throat. Thankfully, Jesse changed the subject.  
"So how long have you and Paul been together?" He asked.  
I laughed as if it were a daft question out of discomfort. "Paul and I are just friends."  
"Are you really, Suze?" Ceecee asked.  
"Yeah," I replied, looking at Paul.  
"You just seem like the perfect couple- with the baby and that Paul is movie.g in with you after the break..."  
"What?!" Jesse shrieked.  
"Well, I wasn't going.g to be able to look after the baby from the other side of the campus," Paul replied, sarcastically.  
"Okay, be honest here, are you two genuinely not together?" Adam asked.  
"We're friends...at the moment."  
"Paul!"  
"It's true. Suze knows my intentions." I don't know how he can be so cool about this.  
"Are you going to tell me who the father is?" Jesse turned to Ceecee and Adam.  
"Nope," they said in unison.  
"We're sworn to secrecy," Adam said.  
"Adam threatened to beat him up, but he's too strong," Ceecee added, "Paul has had fights with him a few times though." I looked at her and I knew she was finding this funny.  
"About what?" Jesse asked.  
"Not about the baby, just a difference of opinion," I said quickly.  
"Yeah, over Suze," Adam said, barely able to keep from laughing. I gave hint a death glare and he faked a cough.  
Paul was called over by Jake, my step-brother and Ceecee took Adam to get more punch.  
"Susannah, why do I get the feeling you're not telling me something?"  
"That would be because I'm not. You don't know who the father is."  
"I wish you would tell me."  
"You don't need to know. Yet."  
"Why don't you trust me?"  
"I know you. I trust you with my life and even my unborn child, but I can't trust you with this information."  
Jesse sighed and walked away. Unfortunately, Dopey took this as an opportunity to talk to me.  
"Are you actually not going to tell him he's the father?!"  
"Sssshhhh! I don't want hint to find out!"  
"So no, then. I think you should. He seems like a decent guy. In fact, too decent to have slept with you..."  
"Jesse is the father, Brad."  
"Whatever you say, Suze."  
He's the only person who hasn't supported me during my pregnancy. It annoys me so much because it reminds me that being pregnant is a bad thing. I went to find Jesse.  
xXx A/N: So Paul is lovely. And will she tell Jesse? And I still want to know who she should end up with. So review, please.  
Love ya,  
Iheartbooks. 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 I looked in the mirror at my baby bump. We were going to the beach today and I was warring my favourite bikini. If you didn't know, you probably couldn't see it. I hoped so anyway. A one piece suit would ruin my tan.  
"Ceecee!" I yelled for her to come in. She'd been waiting downstairs with Adam and Jesse whilst I changed. She walked through the door 30 seconds later.  
"Does this baby make me look fat?" I asked - jokingly, but she kept staring at me (or rather my body) with a strange look in her face.  
"Oh, God! It does, doesn't it?" I wailed.  
"No, Suze-"  
"I was stupid to think I could wear a bikini!"  
"Suze, look in the mirror!"  
I looked. It was the same as earlier. "What?"  
"Your boobs are huge! And your butt!"  
I looked at my reflection and saw she was right. My 34Cs had ballooned out. My black bikini top was more stretched out than I thought and my butt was, well, fantastic!  
"I didn't even notice!"  
"And Suze, no one can tell you're pregnant."  
She left me to put on my outfit for the day. I was going to put on a casual checked shirt- something I could easily put on with wet hair, but the buttons refused to do up over my new bustline. I went for a vest instead. It showed all my cleavage, but at least it fit. The skirt I put on was a little shorter at the back, so I traded them for some beige culottes.  
Paul had joined the group when I came downstairs. "Suze, you look incredible!" He said. Ceecee hit Adam over the head to stop him from ogling and Jesse asked, "Are you sure you should he wearing that outfit in your condition?"  
"Yes, I'm sure. I've got a little while before I get really big and I want to enjoy it."  
"Let's go then," Paul said.  
xXx It was nice to see that Jesse still maintained his abdominal muscles. And I mean REALLY nice to see. Paul had tanned nicely this summer so his skin didn't contrast against Jesse's as much. When I took off my top, neither of them could keep their eyes off my cleavage. "Guys! Stop drooling! I'm up here!" I yelled.  
"Sorry, Susannah, it just looks so inviting." Did Jesse just say that?!  
"Yeah, it does," Paul added. I rolled my eyes and feigned disgust. "Do you want an ice-cream, Cee?"  
"Yeah. Lets join the queue before it gets any longer."  
When we finally reached the ice-cream stand, the vendor, a hot 20 something year old guy gave me an extra flake with a wink. "We should see what else these puppies can get me," I joked.  
"Don't look now, Suze, but three hot guys just got out of the water and are heading our way."  
She pointed towards Jesse, Paul and Adam. "Where? Oh, you were counting Adam."  
"Shut up, Suze." she punched me in the arm.  
"I can't believe you didn't get us an ice-cream!" Adam exclaimed.  
"We can get some," Jesse said.  
"You guys go on. I don't want one," Paul said. Adam shrugged his shoulders and led Jesse to the stand.  
"Do you want to go on my new jetski?"  
"Can I?" I asked, excited.  
"Yeah. You're not that pregnant."  
"Cee...?"  
"Go on. I know you want to." She gave me a smile that hopefully only I understood.  
I wrapped my arms around Paul's abs. Mmmm. He felt so good beneath my hands that I explored a little. "Suze, that tickles," he chuckled, "stop!"  
Instead, I tickled him some more. Then he tickled me. I almost fell of the jetski, which, thankfully, was stationary at the time. Paul grabbed me before I fell into the water. His hands were around my back (why hadn't I noticed how big they were?) and we were sitting pretty close. We had a moment of just looking into each other's eyes, which Paul promptly ended by expertly turning around. He started up the jetski, so as a reflex, I held him tighter. A few moments later, the jetski stopped. He turned to look at me. "God, Suze, I don't think I can concentrate enough to drive with your spectacular bust on my back!"  
"Sorry. Do you want to head back?"  
"Sure."  
xXx "I left my clothes in the car," I said.  
"I'll come with you to get them." Jesse had claimed me first. The first part of the walk was awkward silence until Jesse was sure the others couldn't hear us.  
"I missed doing that." He meant hanging out at the beach with friends.  
"I know. You always liked it the most."  
"I missed you."  
"I missed you too."  
I gave him a hug. I always enjoyed having his body pressed against mine, even if it wasn't sexual. He kissed my exposed neck in a way that was too intimate to be innocent, friendzoned stuff. I pulled away from the hug, ready to forgot the incident, but Jesse pulled me back in by the waist. "I want you back, Querida."  
He smashed his lips against mine and for a moment, I kissed him back. I was trying to encourage him to go back to Europe, though, and this wouldn't help. Then I asked myself the real question: did I want him back? The thought pulled me out of the kiss, leaving me free to wrench myself from Jesse's arms. He tried to pull me by my waist again and I had to place both hands on his chest to push him away. "I will have you, Querida. Even if I have to go back to Latvia." He said it in a way that I used to find sexy; now it just screamed overly possessive. "Lithuania," I corrected. Paul caught up with us. "What was that about?"  
"Nothing," I replied. I didn't want this to become a huge thing. Jesse had crossed the one and he didn't know that I wasn't going to allow him to pick up where we left off like last time. At least I thought he didn't know. The look in his eyes as he walked away said otherwise. What happened in Europe?  
xXx A/N: my attempt at making Jesse more of a bad guy. He's too sure for any seriously bad stuff. Have I successfully leaned you towards Paul or are you Jesse lovers too loyal? Review please. Keep those 'votes' coming in.  
Love ya,  
Iheartbooks P.S. Sorry about all the typos. I'll fix those. 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 We went back to Paul's place after the beach. He lives on campus like the rest of us during term time, but he like to keep this apartment as his little 'pied-à-terre' for the holidays. That and his parents are filthy rich.  
We were kicking back on his corner sofa and I had rested my bare feet on his coffee table. The huge screen TV was on, but no one was paying attention. Paul was standing with his back to the TV talking to the pizza guy over the phone whilst trying to listen to us.  
"...Yeah. We'll have a-" he started.  
"Hawaiian with pepperoni and spicy chicken!" I yelled.  
"A vegetarian with ham, chicken and beef!" Adam yelled.  
"A 3 cheeses with sweet pepper and chorizo!" Ceecee yelled.  
Everyone turned to Jesse, who shrugged, clearly not used to this routine.  
"Did you get all that?" Paul asked. "Awesome. Thanks."  
He hung up and slumped down on the couch next to me. He put his feet on the table and rested his arm on the sofa cushion behind me. Jesse, who was sat next to me but further away, said, "Do you remember when we used to sit on the roof and look at the stars?"  
"Yeah," I replied awkwardly. Why was he bringing this up now?  
"You remember that time you fell off?" Paul asked, laughing.  
"You fell off the roof?" Ceecee asked.  
"I didn't FALL off. I was pushed." I sent an obvious glare Paul's way.  
"I didn't push you! I was ticking you and you fell!"  
"Only because you were ticking me!"  
"I remember this!" Adam said. "Paul walked into the ER with a bag of frozen peas strapped to his-"  
"Adam," Paul deliberately interrupted. "That was our secret."  
"-groin," Adam finished, unable to hold the laughter. Everyone joined him.  
"And what about that time you tried to flirt with that police officer?" Paul asked, a glint of humour in his eye.  
"What time?" Ceecee asked, in feigned outrage.  
"No time, baby. He's lying," Adam tried to sound cool. He winked.  
"You rat!" Ceecee hit him in the chest.  
"It wouldn't have been as bad if HE was gay!" Paul laughed.  
"In my defense, that fat pig had boobs!"  
"They were MOOBS! Can you not tell the difference?!" I asked.  
Jesse snorted.  
"Yeah, but HE also had a 6 o'clock shadow!" Paul countered. Everyone laughed, including Adam.  
"Anything to get out of a speeding ticket," he shrugged. "But what about that time Suze actually got away with it?"  
"I was just too irresistible," I said.  
"That and you were only wearing a bikini top and shorts," Ceecee added. "That hideous lech gave you his number and everything!"  
"Ugh." I shuddered at the memory and everyone laughed. Except Jesse I noticed.  
"He couldn't take his eyes off your cleavage the entire time!" I looked at Adam.  
"I think you're forgetting that time you were beaten up by a little old lady."  
"She was tough," Adam defended.  
"She was well over 80!"  
"It was Jesse's fault anyway."  
Jesse looked innocent and gestured to himself as if to say: 'me?'. "It was not!" he said.  
"If you hadn't told me the wrong Spanish..."  
"I did no such thing!"  
"You did! I was there! You told him to say: Can I help you with you ass? It looks big and heavy.'!" Paul exclaimed.  
Jesse laughed. "I guess I accidentally told him the wrong word."  
"Because the words for 'bags' and 'ass' are so similar in Spanish," Paul added, sarcastically.  
"That old lady had a bag full of bricks!" Adam rubbed his arm as if the memory brought back the pain.  
"The bag flew open from her hitting hint so hard. It had a bottle of water in it!" I said.  
"A pretty brick-like bottle of water. I got bruises all over!" Everyone laughed again.  
"And if what happened in Mexico is no longer staying in Mexico..." Adam said, "Then perhaps I could mention a little thing that happened to Paul..."  
"Is that the pizza?" Paul asked. We know he heard nothing.  
"I didn't hear anything," Jesse said, eyebrow raised. There was a knock on the door.  
"See?" I rolled my eyes.  
"Lucky," Adam said.  
xXx I helped Paul throw out the pizza boxes at about 11. He'd thrown out his alcohol the day he found out I was pregnant and hasn't touched it since. We were both on a high from the nostalgia and reminiscence. He ran his hand through his blond hair, which had streaked from the sun. "Suze." He just looked at me and I looked back at him. In one smooth motion I was in his arms and his lips were on mine. It was a gentle kiss, just a teaching brush of lips, but then I pulled him to me. "God, Suze. I-" he was cut off by the sight of Jesse standing there. Perfect timing, as usual.  
"I see," Jesse snarled. "You lied to me."  
"I didn't lie."  
"Well, see how it looks from my point of view. You tell me you're not with him, you don't want to kiss me, but I catch you in here kissing him!" His filled with jealousy.  
"We're not together," Paul said. He looked down sheepishly, which didn't help matters.  
"Me not wanting to kiss you has nothing to do with Paul." I knew as those words left my lips that I was lying.  
"I see how you are around him. You may not LOVE him but you certainly WANT him."  
"Want him for what?" I asked, furious. Jess had no right to talk to me like that. He didn't own me...anymore. He was always crazy jealous when we were together, but seeing it now, not blinded by love, it seemed ridiculous!  
"For all your dirty little fantasies. The ones I denied you."  
I slapped him hard across the face. There was actually a red handprint on his left cheek.  
"Paul's changed and you know it. He offers me more than sex now."  
Paul awkwardly shuffled out of the room.  
"What about he baby's father?"  
"What does he have to do with this?!"  
"Who is he?!"  
"Is that what this is really about?!"  
That petty bastard. He looked guilty. I gave him a look that I hope made him feel guiltier.  
xXx A/N: I'm sorry if there are errors and stuff. It's like 3 in the morning and I probably wouldn't sleep if I didn't do this chapter. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Who will Suze end up with? REVIEW, readers. If this were a few years ago, I wouldn't have posted without at least 5 reviews. Now I know I get more readers than that everyday, so try. Please.  
Love ya,  
Iheartbooks 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5.  
"Why won't you just tell me who the father is?!"  
"I said I will after you finish your trip!"  
"Everyone's tiptoeting around me! Even you're refusing to leave my side in case someone "spills the beans"!"  
"I would love to tell you who the father is, but I'm afraid...of what you would do!"  
"So why tell me then and not now?!"  
"Because things will be different then!"  
"How?! How much Will things have changed?!"  
"For one thing, the father will be ready to help me!"  
"I don't care about that! Just tell me who he is!"  
"No!"  
"It's Paul, isn't it?! That's slimy bastard has been getting on my nerves since I got here! I'm surprised he hasn't boasted about how good you were!"  
"Paul's not like that anymore!"  
"So it is him!"  
"No!"  
"Then who the fuck is it?!" Jesse never swore. Especially not the 'f' word.  
"I can't tell you!"  
"Look, I don't care that you slept with someone else!"  
"Jesse."  
"I lied. It bothers me, but I forgive you for it!"  
"Jesse."  
"Even though I didn't sleep with anyone else!"  
"Jesse."  
"Yeah, there were plenty of women all over Europe, but I kept it in my pants! I leave you for two weeks and you've already spread your legs for some other guy!"  
I started to cry, quietly. "Jesse." I've slept with no one but him.  
"Was he better than me?! Was he bigger than me?! Did you lose your virginity to him and not me?! Did you-"  
I had to cut him off at that point. I'd had enough of insanely jealous Jesse. I couldn't take it anymore.  
"Yes! I lost my virginity to him!"  
"Susannah." Jesse betrayed, as if even though he'd asked the question, he knew the answer and that wasn't it. "Susannah," he said again, unable to say another word.  
"I lost my virginity to him and he was better than you are now!"  
"Susannah-"  
"No! Let me finish! I lost my virginity to him because you are him!"  
"I am him?"  
"Yes."  
"As in the father of your child?"  
"Yes."  
"But I can't be. I was gone for two weeks by then."  
"I lied. I'm actually over four months pregnant."  
Jesse sat down on the kitchen worktop and smiled. "I've only ever slept with you," I said. Jesse took my hands and pulled me so that I was sitting on his lap. "I know," he said. He held me close and hugged me tight for a moment. He went in for a kiss, but I moved back. He tried again and I slid off his lap. "I still want you to go back to Europe though."  
xXx The backstory/explanation.  
It was the last night of Jesse's visit. He'd been to Spain and Portugal for three months and had come back for three days to tell me that he'd found out more about his family. He brought me souvenirs that were beautiful: a Spanish fan with the promises of flamenco lessons and a t-shirt that said 'I (heart) La corazon de Espana'. Jesse had spent his three days hanging out with me, so he insisted on taking me to a restaurant on his last night to thank me.  
Jesse was unusually flirtacious and he setting and the atmosphere was just right. We ended up sleeping together in his hotel room. We were both a bit tipsy and I guess in the heat of the moment, we forgot about contraception. I wasn't on the pill for fear that Mom would suspect my sexual activity. Jesse and I had had sex before, just before he left, which was when I lost my virginity.  
Neither of us suspected that I was pregnant, so Jesse caught his plane and I waved him off. It wasn't until a month later when I was stressing about my period and Ceecee jokingly said, "with the amount of sex you have, Suze, you might just be pregnant!" that I thought I might be having a baby.  
"I know, it's been a while. I haven't done it since Jesse left," I replied.  
"That was only a month ago, Suze."  
"Shit. I forgot."  
"That's no language for a mother to be."  
"We don't know that yet."  
But sure enough, the pregnancy test turned out positive. I felt as though my life had ended. I couldn't abort the baby- I'm too pro-life and I know I could never bring myself .tk give it away once it's born. This meant I would have to keep it. I would have to stop going to college. I was only just starting my second year. What would my mom say? Actually, what would Jesse say? In my distressed and impregnated state, I went to go see Paul.  
He opened the door, saw me standing there, wet from the rain with puffy eyes and hugged me. His warmth was reassuring and when I told him my story, he was sympathetic rather than judging. He offered to help me look after my child and I said, "What would I do without you?"  
He didn't reply and we were sitting so close on his bed. I kissed him experimentally. Just a brief kiss and then looked into his eyes. Then he started kissing me, and it deepened into a fully-fledged French. After a moment, he pulled away. "We can't, Suze. I'll wait until you're back to yourself again. No matter what though, you still have to tell Jesse."  
At the time, I felt like a fool. I'd thrown myself at Paul whilst I was pregnant with Jesse's baby. I got up and ran away, promising to call.  
xXx A/N: So now you know a little more than you did before. As does Jesse. But what will happen next chapter? Not even I know. Review, please. Much appreciated. I gave you two chapters today. At 3:00am I might add.  
Love ya,  
Iheartbooks 


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